We are elves, too. And angels, chosen by extraterrestrial entities and generally magical. There seems to be a need among aspies and parents of autistic children to create an image of this sort. Others like to diagnose dead geniuses with Asperger's and complete their list of positive traits with some namedropping (another habit I don't understand, although I am willing to make an exception for Tesla).
Let's start with this article.
Right. Autists are sometimes said to be ethereally beautiful, and of course, many believe in it. I guess they believe in it because they want to. I don't believe in it, and I find the article plain bizarre, really. Take this, for example: "My children's beauty has always been a source of solace to me. When you've had a terrible night with a small baby, you can restore your affection for the child by dressing it up and making it look really sweet."
I don't know what else to say.
On to the next point: Aspie eyes. Yes, I know we can have special eyes in some ways, but not in the sense "magical". Someone made this video to show that people with AS have eyes that are deeper, more beautiful and more special than others':
1. The music. The video is not really as touching if you turn off the sound, is it?
2. The eyes. Some of them are beautiful, others are... just eyes.
3. The pictures. They're close-ups! Eyes, and especially when pictured like this (zoomed in) are always moving.
I feel quite sure that someone could do this with pictures of neurotypical people's eyes and achieve the same emotional effect using music and zooming in on the eyes. I'm sorry for being boring, but I really don't get it.
It's a nice thought, I guess, just like when people correct others and say that neuropsychiatric conditions are gifts, nothing else. On some level I understand this need, but when I see things like the beauty article and the eye video, it seems quite close to saying "you don't have Asperger's, you are Indigo children". Yes, I have seen that too.
Why not just see it for what it is? I personally don't mind being wired differently, and I wouldn't feel insulted by being diagnosed with a syndrome. There are positive parts of it, and of course we should talk about them! I don't mind at all, as long as I don't have to see too much of the "aspie supremacy" attitude. Still, it's a syndrome. Many of us are exceptionally cool in one way or another (heh), but we all have our shortcomings as a result of it. I think I deserve respect and understanding even without angelic beauty or magical eyes.
My children's beauty has always been a source of solace to me. When you've had a terrible night with a small baby, you can restore your affection for the child by dressing it up and making it look really sweet."
SvaraRaderaI thought that was something every parent said after a hard night?
Hm. I honestly can't say that my affection for my child has ever been damaged the day after a hard night, although I agree that those nights aren't fun. More importantly, I really cannot see how dressing the child up and "making it look really sweet" could be a key to attachment. Are pretty children easier to love?
SvaraRaderaAs you say it is bizarre that they need to say something like that, as if the beauty of the child would make it easier to love them. I don't believe a pretty child is easier to love, if the mom already love the child, she would love him or her, no matter what.
SvaraRaderaMaybe that is just something that they say, to hide from a projection that other people put on them. I don't know I don't have kids.
Hi. I was looking for info on AS when I came across your blog. Thank you.
SvaraRaderaI am a 47-year-old male. A couple of weeks ago I broke up a fraught relationship with a 52-year-old man I blamed for being insensitive and emotionally selfish. In my least charitable moments I even wondered if he might not be a borderline psychopath (obviously a gross overstatement motivated by anger). Yet somehow this failed to take into account his more positive sides. It only dawned on me today, after much thinking on the subject, that he may have a form of AS (I suspect i have a mild form of it myself, which may be why I could intuitively relate to him) and he may have been trying his best without my realising. Now I am quite confused. Assuming my thoroughly unprofessional diagnosis is correct (he does tick an awful lot of the AS boxes though), I feel I have been quite unfair - blaming him and saying some truly unkind words. Where does this leave me?I think it is too late to apologise and he will never forgive or forget some of the things I have said or written. Also I'm quite sure he has never ben diagnosed and would be very reluctant to be diagnosed by a professional, even though an AS diagnosis might help him understand and accept some of the reasons why social life can occasionally be difficult, and actually relieve some of the confusion and guilt he may be feeling.
In light of my other relationships I suspect I am attracted to AS men yet once I have started a relationship with an Aspie I feel neglected and unloved. How am I to deal with that inner contradiction?
I agree with everyrhing i have read on this thread. i do however see a beauty in the way we love. So real and deep. the bible verse "in my Father's house there are many mansions" keeps running through my head for some reason and i (yes, i do believe in the afterlife) lately have thought of the concept that perhapse our deep and real way of loving is the infinate truth and feeling of eternal love.
SvaraRadera